Have you ever caught yourself hustling, performing, or trying to prove yourself… even when you know you’re exhausted?
Same. Same.
Today I read something that that really got my attention: we are called to be good stewards of our pain.
As a therapist, wife, daughter, friend, and child of God… it is my duty to be a good steward of my pain. Wow.
That line stopped me. Because for years, I didn’t steward my pain — I ran from it. & so many of us do. Hello – we are wired to avoid pain!
And my personal favorite escape route?
Performing. Doing. Constant motion.
Woof. Exhausting.
Somewhere along the lines of childhood worthiness messaging, many of us internalized:
“I’m not enough unless I’m doing enough.”
And once that belief gets in your body, it takes on a life of its own. (can I get an amen?!)
For some people, that turns into shutdown.
For others — like me — it turns into drive.
If I can work hard enough, accomplish enough, achieve enough… then maybe I’ll finally feel worthy. Enough.
And back then? If I could be thin and successful? Well then, maybe that meant I was worthy. (Plot twist: that formula never delivers)
Also, sidenote— I’ve thought I was a 9 on the Enneagram for YEARS.
Turns out I’m a 3… and 3s go to 9 in stress.
MAKES. SO. MUCH. SENSE.
But I digress. (if you haven’t taken the Enneagram take it here & send me your #, I want to know! – so enlightening!!)
But so many of us carry this type of invisible script in our heads:
“Rest is lazy.”
“If I stop, everything falls apart.”
“I need to prove my worth.”
You don’t think that consciously — your body remembers it.
Your nervous system remembers it.
Your childhood remembers it. {Maybe rest was actually deemed lazy, or dad said things like “only lazy people nap.”}
And so when life feels overwhelming, what do we do?
We do more.
We hustle harder.
We clean, work, plan, fix, over-function, and call it “coping.”
Welcome to my world.
Until eventually… the doing stops working.
And we hit burnout.
& listen, burnout is not a character flaw.
It’s your body whispering, “I can’t keep doing this,” after years of being asked to perform.
And if you’ve ever wondered: “Why can’t I just relax like everyone else?”
It’s because you weren’t raised that way. Your nervous system is still running on that childhood programming.
But here’s the part most people never tell you:
That pattern isn’t permanent.
It’s flexible, changeable, and you don’t have to keep losing yourself to prove yourself.