“Just sit down and talk about it.”
Okay.
But what if one partner needs time to process before answering—and the other experiences that silence as rejection?
What if one person needs direct communication while the other expects their partner to pick up on tone and context?
What if a forgotten household task becomes:
“You don’t care about me.”
When executive functioning is part of what’s actually happening?
These are some of the reasons finding the right therapist matters for neurodivergent couples.
A therapist can know a lot about ADHD or autism without having extensive experience treating couples.
And someone can be an excellent couples therapist while still missing the role that sensory needs, executive functioning, masking, processing differences, or different communication styles are playing in the relationship.
Ideally, you’re looking for someone who understands both.
And I think one of the most important things to watch for is whether either partner repeatedly leaves therapy feeling:
“The therapist thinks I’m the problem.”
Neurodivergence shouldn’t become the explanation for every conflict.
But therapy also shouldn’t be about teaching one partner to behave more “normally.”
The better question is:
How do these two people build a relationship that works for both of their brains?
I put together a resource featuring 10 therapists and practices working with neurodivergent couples, along with questions worth asking before choosing someone.
Read the complete article on my website → https://marinaedelman.com/blogs/therapists-for-neurodivergent-couples/