You spend hours replaying conversations in your head. You can’t stop worrying. You avoid decisions because you’re afraid of what someone might think or say. You hold back, shrink, or second-guess yourself — just in case you upset someone.
It’s exhausting. And it keeps you stuck.
There’s a mental shift that can set you free.
Entrepreneur Alex Hormozi shares a simple but powerful idea: disagreement, criticism, or hate is just someone announcing that you don’t match their preferences.
That’s it. Not proof that you’re wrong, bad, or broken — just a signal that you’re living differently than they’d like.
Think about it:
- “You’re selfish.” → I prefer people who give more than they keep.
- “You’re too intense.” → I prefer people who stay small and safe.
- “You charge too much.” → I prefer cheaper things.
- “You’re distant.” → I prefer more access to you than you’re giving me.
When you translate criticism this way, it stops feeling like a verdict on your worth. It’s just someone saying, “I’d rather you play by my rules.” You get to decide if that makes sense for your life.
Why this matters if you’re healing old wounds
If you grew up feeling inadequate, invisible, or unsafe, other people’s approval can feel like survival. Your nervous system may treat disapproval like danger. But those old signals are outdated. You’re not a child trying to stay safe anymore. You’re an adult with choices — and boundaries.
Learning to pause and translate feedback helps calm that survival response. It reminds you:
- This is their preference, not universal truth.
- It’s a statement about them, not me.
- I have a right to my own life, even if it disappoints someone.
- My worth isn’t on trial every time someone dislikes my choices.
Try this today to stop worrying
Next time you feel the sting of criticism, disagreement, or even hate, do three quick steps to stop worrying:
- Translate it: “They prefer X. I chose Y.”
- Check alignment: Does their preference fit my values and needs?
- Decide: Keep my choice, or adjust because I want to — not because I’m scared.
It’s a tiny practice that builds emotional freedom over time. You stop running your life by other people’s preferences and start living by your own.
I’m Brent Peak, a licensed trauma therapist and coach. I help emotionally exhausted high achievers heal deep wounds and reclaim emotional freedom. If you’re tired of living for everyone else’s approval, reach out — we can work on resetting the old patterns that keep you small.