1) Even though deeply damaged, they can be repaired and even made better than ever. 2) Good and great relationships do not withstand the test of time when they are not properly cared for. 3) Most people do not know the secrets to cultivating and maintaining good and great relationships. 4) The current culture we…
There is so much talk these days in our personal and professional lives about the importance of people ‘connecting’. Business networking is about connecting, good personal relationships need connection between two people, therapists ask couples, ‘do you feel connected?’ And the current mother of all connecting species: “friending” on Facebook! So what’s all this connecting…
Take a minute to think about what you expect from a loving relationship with a partner. Does your list contain any of the following common expectations? Healing past woundsMeeting all of your current emotional needsFulfilling fantasies and idealizations of how life should beMaking up for other less rewarding aspects of life / making your life…
Understanding Secure and Insecure Attachment John Gerson, Ph.D. It should be our goal as parents to raise our children to be secure people. Fortunately, most of us have implicit knowledge of the behavioral ingredients that combine to promote security. That implicit knowledge most likely comes from the lucky experience of having been parented by parents…
What to do if your spouse won’t go to counseling John Gerson, Ph.D. The scenario of one spouse recognizing that therapy might be useful to look at a troubled relationship while the other is resistant has several possible explanations. It may be that your partner has become too anxious as a product of interpreting your…
How to Deal With an Angry Spouse John Gerson, Ph.D, It is important to differentiate the spouse whose anger is a healthy response to various partner insufficiencies, such as lack of attunement, inadequate empathy, neglect, poor partner functioning -in short anger as a protest to loss of love and safety – and anger which is…
How much do your personal feelings about animals affect the way in which you are authentically able to help a client who has just lost their pet? How does your past inform your present? Whether it be a sibling’s allergies, cultural beliefs, or perhaps a traumatic experience you had with a dog as a child,…
One of the most confusing concepts about limits and boundaries is understanding that there is a difference between these two terms. Yet both are equally important in a healthy relationship. A Boundary is a theoretical line that we define for others. Like a boundary on a map, in truth there is no line in stone…
Web MD had a wonderful article posted online about 20 things you can learn from your pet. All of them were good suggestions, but some spoke to me more than others. For instance, “live in the moment” and “forget multitasking;” although these were two separate recommendations, they seem related. Oftentimes, especially in this age of…
Sowing into the noble cause of fostering healthy and strong relationships does empower the people involved with this challenging task. A real sense of zeal and well being can come from connecting with another person; There is an ability and motivation to take action in the relationship as well as in other situations; There is an on going sense of growth and knowledge…