I wrote the folowing article for the National Psychologist, In my 27 years of practice as a clinical psychologist, I have been guided by a continuous curiosity to study and implement the most effective tools for helping my clients experience relief and healing. Whether the techniques are firmly rooted in the psychotherapeutic establishment or newly…
Not so long ago, neuroscientists knew for a fact that once you were full grown you could not grow new brain cells. It turns out that was wrong. It is now an axiom of science that brain can be changed. This is called neuroplasticity. Not only can the brain be changed. It can be changed…
Dr. Steven Stosny suggests that giving 6 full contact hugs a day for six seconds each massively reduces resentments and negativity. I like this idea. So here is the catch, it needs to be for 6 seconds. Why 6 seconds? Because, it takes that long to really release the hormone of Oxytocin, the neurochemical that…
There are 4 times during the day that you can maximize the effect of any relationship behavior: waking up, going to sleep, coming home and leaving for work. Whatever you do during these transition times has a much stronger effect because it colors what comes next. The old adage don’t go to bed angry is…
Marie and her husband were going out on a date for the first time in several months. To make matters worse, life had gotten very hectic and she had not even had a chance to talk with him for a while and there were some things that were bothering her that she had been…
Perfection is the enemy of the good. It shuts people down and prevents them from accomplishing many goals. It is far better to shoot for a B and succeed than shoot for an A+ and becoome immobilized. 80-85% is more than good enough 95% of the time. Resist the thought that you have…
A Parable: Once upon time there was woman who loved oranges. She would go to a certain basket on a certain shelf and always found oranges in that basket. She was happy. Then one day there were no more oranges in the basket. She came back the next day and still no more oranges. Weeks…
1) Sessions should NOT be spent with you fighting and arguing and the therapist just listening. One of the chief complaints I have heard from many people about previous therapy is that the therapists allowed them to bicker and argue, and they felt worse after every session. Effective therapists do not allow couples to continue…
1) Even though deeply damaged, they can be repaired and even made better than ever. 2) Good and great relationships do not withstand the test of time when they are not properly cared for. 3) Most people do not know the secrets to cultivating and maintaining good and great relationships. 4) The current culture we…
How to view it: When it comes to stress it is helpful to remember, “It is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” Generally, it what you do between your ears that matter’s most. One of the biggest sources of stress is a group of thought patterns…