1) Sessions should NOT be spent with you fighting and arguing and the therapist just listening. One of the chief complaints I have heard from many people about previous therapy is that the therapists allowed them to bicker and argue, and they felt worse after every session. Effective therapists do not allow couples to continue…
1) Even though deeply damaged, they can be repaired and even made better than ever. 2) Good and great relationships do not withstand the test of time when they are not properly cared for. 3) Most people do not know the secrets to cultivating and maintaining good and great relationships. 4) The current culture we…
How to view it: When it comes to stress it is helpful to remember, “It is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” Generally, it what you do between your ears that matter’s most. One of the biggest sources of stress is a group of thought patterns…
There is so much talk these days in our personal and professional lives about the importance of people ‘connecting’. Business networking is about connecting, good personal relationships need connection between two people, therapists ask couples, ‘do you feel connected?’ And the current mother of all connecting species: “friending” on Facebook! So what’s all this connecting…
Take a minute to think about what you expect from a loving relationship with a partner. Does your list contain any of the following common expectations? Healing past woundsMeeting all of your current emotional needsFulfilling fantasies and idealizations of how life should beMaking up for other less rewarding aspects of life / making your life…
Throughout our lives, we develop limiting and unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, habits, and ways of “being” in the world that become stored in our unconscious minds. These negative thoughts often result in self-sabotage and an inability to achieve our goals or break destructive/unhealthy habits. Clinical hypnotherapy serves to by-pass the conscious mind and speak directly…
Understanding Secure and Insecure Attachment John Gerson, Ph.D. It should be our goal as parents to raise our children to be secure people. Fortunately, most of us have implicit knowledge of the behavioral ingredients that combine to promote security. That implicit knowledge most likely comes from the lucky experience of having been parented by parents…
What to do if your spouse won’t go to counseling John Gerson, Ph.D. The scenario of one spouse recognizing that therapy might be useful to look at a troubled relationship while the other is resistant has several possible explanations. It may be that your partner has become too anxious as a product of interpreting your…
How to Deal With an Angry Spouse John Gerson, Ph.D, It is important to differentiate the spouse whose anger is a healthy response to various partner insufficiencies, such as lack of attunement, inadequate empathy, neglect, poor partner functioning -in short anger as a protest to loss of love and safety – and anger which is…
Sometimes life’s messages to us whisper, then knock, knock louder, or even scream before we really tune in and listen! I cannot even count how many times I have appreciated my eyesight after seeing a person without sight, until my own next neurotic moment! Or seen a homeless person with no shoes, and felt blessed…