Perfection is the enemy of the good. It shuts people down and prevents them from accomplishing many goals. It is far better to shoot for a B and succeed than shoot for an A+ and becoome immobilized. 80-85% is more than good enough 95% of the time. Resist the thought that you have…
A Parable: Once upon time there was woman who loved oranges. She would go to a certain basket on a certain shelf and always found oranges in that basket. She was happy. Then one day there were no more oranges in the basket. She came back the next day and still no more oranges. Weeks…
1) Sessions should NOT be spent with you fighting and arguing and the therapist just listening. One of the chief complaints I have heard from many people about previous therapy is that the therapists allowed them to bicker and argue, and they felt worse after every session. Effective therapists do not allow couples to continue…
1) Even though deeply damaged, they can be repaired and even made better than ever. 2) Good and great relationships do not withstand the test of time when they are not properly cared for. 3) Most people do not know the secrets to cultivating and maintaining good and great relationships. 4) The current culture we…
How to view it: When it comes to stress it is helpful to remember, “It is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you.” Generally, it what you do between your ears that matter’s most. One of the biggest sources of stress is a group of thought patterns…
There is so much talk these days in our personal and professional lives about the importance of people ‘connecting’. Business networking is about connecting, good personal relationships need connection between two people, therapists ask couples, ‘do you feel connected?’ And the current mother of all connecting species: “friending” on Facebook! So what’s all this connecting…
Take a minute to think about what you expect from a loving relationship with a partner. Does your list contain any of the following common expectations? Healing past woundsMeeting all of your current emotional needsFulfilling fantasies and idealizations of how life should beMaking up for other less rewarding aspects of life / making your life…
Throughout our lives, we develop limiting and unhelpful thoughts, beliefs, habits, and ways of “being” in the world that become stored in our unconscious minds. These negative thoughts often result in self-sabotage and an inability to achieve our goals or break destructive/unhealthy habits. Clinical hypnotherapy serves to by-pass the conscious mind and speak directly…
Understanding Secure and Insecure Attachment John Gerson, Ph.D. It should be our goal as parents to raise our children to be secure people. Fortunately, most of us have implicit knowledge of the behavioral ingredients that combine to promote security. That implicit knowledge most likely comes from the lucky experience of having been parented by parents…
What to do if your spouse won’t go to counseling John Gerson, Ph.D. The scenario of one spouse recognizing that therapy might be useful to look at a troubled relationship while the other is resistant has several possible explanations. It may be that your partner has become too anxious as a product of interpreting your…