Are you feeling heart-ached, broken and full of sorrow over communication?
The good news is this is probably much easier to solve than it feels! By utilizing the following practices first with a loved one, second with yourself, and third (if you like) with God, you will become happier, grateful and relieved pretty quickly! Anyone can learn these. Whether you have a background full of trauma, problems that seem to never resolve, or a good quality life with some annoying communication issues, these practices can lead you to much happier territory.
No need to keep feeling like a tightly-fisted, painfully chapped hand when life can become a big warm hug! First, take a pause from proving your point, trying to be understood, and aiming to convince anyone of anything. When you focus on understanding others, people immediately treat you differently. While some will not have the skills to fully return the grace you now offer, they will treat you in a way that leaves you much happier.
Also, as what goes around comes around whether we view this from a metaphysical or karmic perspective, you will soon attract more people who do understand and value your view! I have test-proven this on myself and others for decades and it works.
How to understand and validate another with the mind
Take a break from your own view point and listen carefully to the value of what the other is expressing. Note, there always is value to that person. Acknowledge the person’s positive intent to them. How does that person respond? Do you feel a bit better now?
How to understand and validate another with the heart
Forget about arguing, convincing, comparing, advising and fixing anyone. Assume that person is doing exactly what she/he/them needs to do and believing what is just right for her/him/them to believe at this time. Feel how this person inspires you in some way. Allow yourself to be inspired.
How to understand and validate yourself with loving kindness
Spend one week focusing on the above practices and your experience of life will shift in positive ways! Here’s How:
Bring the same type of kindness to yourself that you brought to others with the above practices. In the conversations that take place in your own mind, once again, take a break from and critique or fear of being critiqued. Instead, lovingly embrace the value of your own expression. Note, there is purpose to each expression you make in thought and feeling. Remind yourself that you have a positive intent. How does your body feel when you treat yourself this well? Do you feel different than before?
Forget about advising yourself for a moment. Assume you are doing exactly what you need to do and believing what is just right for you to believe at this time. You are also feeling precisely what the universal collage of life has assigned you to feel. This is your current contribution to the all. This is your genuine experience now. Feel how just letting yourself be inspires you in some way. Allow yourself to be inspired by being you.
How to get your point across without inviting disruption
Clarify your intent in one word or phrase.
Example: Peace or my intention is to feel peace.
Clarify your request of another in one to two sentences.
Example: I would love to feel peace in our home. Will you help me create this by
making eye contact and hugs a priority when we greet?
In the event that you receive a yes response be grateful!
Take a moment to feel gratitude for what has happened. You can also share the gratitude with your person.
In the event that you receive a no response, find a quick practical solution
Example: Your partner needs down time after work. Stay in your office or the kitchen or go outside and garden, etc. when he/she/they arrive(s). Let yourself be hugged and loved by life itself. Greet your partner (or teenager) half an hour later when they have the energy for hugs and eye contact.
What this has to do with God, Goddess, Great Spirit
What does this have to do with God, Goddess, Great Spirit, higher power, etc.? If you are an atheist perhaps nothing. But if you believe in some kind of God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power, Oneness or “Self”, you can apply this to your relationship with this force on your own spiritual or religious terms. Take observance of how you are talking to God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power, throughout the day.
Ask God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power for help more often. Ask God for clarity frequently. Thank your source of existence regularly. In most simple form tell God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power of your needs and ask for what you need with trust that God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power has many ways to respond favorably and positively to your needs in ways you had not thought of yourself. Often God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power will bring what your hearts asks for as you are patient and have faith.
Listen to God, Goddess, Great Spirit or higher power in the silence as well. Listen to the flavor of goodness.
Keep a journal of your findings if you like
This will lead to more of what is uplifting and serve as an impetus for gratitude. Gratitude breeds favorable communication.