It’s on the horizon- the holidays. There might already be anticipation of the uncle who talks with his mouth full, grandma who smells like she put on all of Macy’s perfumes in the store, and dreaded pearl onions. This season, conversations might be extra challenging because of the political climate and the amount of polarization. […]
Why Is “Just Be Yourself” So Hard? Have you ever agreed to something, then later wondered, “Why didn’t I just say what I wanted?” Maybe you said “you choose” when you had a preference. Maybe you stayed quiet because you didn’t want to make things awkward. Or you noticed yourself becoming more agreeable around someone […]
Unfortunately, I have been writing articles about school mass shootings since 2018. On Friday, there was another school shooting in Bend, Oregon. A teacher and two students were killed at the school and another teacher and student are in the ICU in the hospital fighting to live. The National Institute of Health has documented […]
Part 3 of a series. Start with Suppression Isn’t Strength, then read It Takes Two to Tango, then come back here. There is a moment every man knows. Something happens in a relationship. A comment lands wrong. A boundary gets crossed quietly. A need goes unmet for the third time this week. Something sits in […]
Let me tell you what happens in my office more often than you might think. A man comes in. His partner has told him he needs to work on himself. Be more emotionally present. Stop shutting down. Learn to express what he is feeling. So he does the work. He sits with the discomfort. He […]
There’s a moment that comes up again and again in therapy. A client describes walking into a meeting, a party, or a family dinner — and within seconds, they know exactly what everyone in the room thinks of them. He’s an imposter. She thinks I’m a failure. They can all see I don’t belong here. […]
High achievers often measure themselves by results, recognition, or productivity. The promotion, the perfect performance review, the next milestone — these become the scoreboard for self-worth. It works, for a while. But over time, tying your identity entirely to output can lead to a quiet kind of identity confusion, low self-worth, and eventually burnout. This […]
For most people, therapy means one hour a week. But life does not pause between sessions. Difficult conversations, anxious nights, unexpected triggers and moments of doubt rarely wait for your next appointment. That is why I offer short check-ins between sessions, and why many of my clients say it is one of the most helpful […]
When a narcissistic or emotionally abusive relationship ends, many people expect to feel relief. Often, what comes first is confusion, exhaustion and a quiet sense of being “less than” you used to be. After months or years of criticism, gaslighting and shifting goalposts, it is common to doubt your judgement, your attractiveness, your intelligence and […]
Finding out that a partner has been using pornography in secret, or more than you realised, can bring up a surprising mix of feelings: hurt, anger, embarrassment, self-doubt and confusion about whether you are “allowed” to be upset. Some people feel it as a betrayal close to an affair. Others feel unsure what they even […]
