When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Quite the Whole Story How many times has someone asked, “How are you?” and before you’ve even had time to think, you’ve smiled and said, “I’m fine.” Sometimes we really are fine. But sometimes “fine” is simply the easiest answer. We may be carrying worry, relationship stress, loneliness, anger, exhaustion, or […]
Have you ever walked away from a conversation and thought:“Why did I react like that?”Maybe you became defensive. Shut down. Got angry. Wanted to leave. Or said something that didn’t actually express what you were feeling.We’re often quick to judge the reaction:“I’m too emotional.”“I’m terrible at confrontation.”“Why can’t I communicate normally?”But I think there’s a […]
You Know How to Fight.You Know How to Win. So why does it feel like losing? If you’re tired of fighting with your partner and feeling worse afterward—this post is for you. We’ve all learned how to fight.No, I don’t mean Krav Maga. Not karate. And not food fights à la Animal House. I’m talking […]
When Your Ex Is a “Gopher Parent” I use the term “Gopher Parent” for a parent who seems to disappear underground—and then suddenly pops back up. They’re gone for a while. Then they want the weekend. They show up for the birthday. They make an exciting promise. And then… they’re gone again. Meanwhile, you’re doing […]
I’ve worked with couples where the affair was technically over, but the punishment wasn’t. It had just moved somewhere else. Into the credit card. The bank account. The expensive purchase followed by: “After what you did, you don’t get to tell me what I can spend.” And I understand how couples get there. Infidelity creates […]
“Le prime due terapeute non mi convincevano.” Nel mio studio a Londra, dove lavoro da oltre vent’anni come psicoterapeuta italiana con donne che vivono all’estero, sento questa frase con una regolarità sorprendente. Quasi sempre, chi la dice non ha smesso di credere nella terapia. Ha smesso di credere in un certo tipo di terapeuta. Il […]
You may be home. You may be retired, released from service, or years removed from the experience that changed you. But sometimes your body doesn’t get the message that the danger is over. For some Veterans, PTSD looks like constantly scanning the room, needing to know where the exits are, becoming irritated more quickly, struggling […]
There’s a certain kind of exhaustion that comes from always being “the nice one.” The reliable one. The person who says yes, smooths things over, avoids conflict, and keeps everyone else comfortable—even at the expense of their own needs. This pattern, often called people pleasing, can look admirable on the outside. But internally, it’s often […]
In più di vent’anni di lavoro come psicoterapeuta, una sola cliente mi ha mai chiesto di vedere le mie qualifiche. Mi ha chiesto anche di vedere la mia carta d’identità, quasi scusandosi appena l’ha fatto. Quella domanda ha aperto una porta che raramente si apre così presto: nella stessa prima seduta mi ha raccontato di […]
Many of us know the feeling. A look, tone or single word can suddenly send a conversation down a familiar path. We may have had the same argument so many times that we can almost predict what happens next. One person pushes for connection or change. The other becomes defensive, overwhelmed or shuts down. The […]
