So, you’ve heard of Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), and you’re wondering what the deal is with these two. Am I right? Don’t worry — I’ve been there. I’ve actually been on both sides of the couch with these therapies, so let me break it down for you. The […]
If you’ve been carrying the weight of trauma, anxiety, painful memories, or experiences that seem to keep resurfacing no matter how hard you try to move forward, you’re not alone. Many people come to therapy feeling exhausted by the impact these experiences have on their daily lives, relationships, and sense of well-being. I’m Lexi Eller, […]
You’re Trained to Respond to Emergencies—But You’re Human Too. As first responders, you’re often the first on scene when someone is having the worst day of their life. You train for the chaos, the crisis, and the unknown. What often gets overlooked is the impact those experiences can have on you long after the call […]
Anger is the emotional equivalent of a loud, leather-jacket-wearing bodyguard. When you yell because someone took the last cup of coffee without brewing a fresh pot, it looks like a direct reaction to caffeine deprivation. In reality, that loud reaction is just a secondary emotion shielding a much more sensitive, primary emotion hiding backstage. […]
Perfectionism can look like ambition, discipline, and drive. But it can also feel like living under a never-ending report card—where every project, grade, performance review, and even appearance is scored, judged, and never quite “enough.” Psychology writers often describe perfectionism as a trait that can be motivating in healthy doses, yet deeply distressing when it […]
“We Never Fight” as a Sign “We never fight.” It’s one of the most common statements I hear from couples. Often, it’s said with pride, as if never arguing is proof that a relationship is healthy. But after more than 20 years of working with couples, I’ve learned that the absence of conflict isn’t always a […]
At some point, the high performer’s internal monologue starts to sound like this: I just need to push through. Everyone else is handling it. I’ll rest when this project is done. I don’t have time to fall apart right now. And then, eventually, the body makes the decision that the mind refused to make. Burnout […]
When we experience something overwhelming, our nervous system responds to protect us, through fight, flight, freeze or fawn. This is a completely natural survival response. The difficulty is that long after the event has passed, the nervous system can remain stuck in that protective state. Your body is still responding as though the threat […]
When your partner says that thing in that tone—and you feel the urge to shut down, snap, or launch a well-rehearsed monologue—there’s one move that can change everything: curiosity. Curiosity in conflict is a game changer. It slows down reactivity. It invites understanding. And it builds connection right where disconnection usually takes root. Asking yourself questions like “What […]
What Is Trauma and How Does It Affect You? Trauma isn’t just about what happened. It’s about what happens inside you as a result. Many people who come to therapy don’t initially identify as having experienced trauma. They know something difficult happened, but they’re not sure if it “counts.” They just know that something feels […]
