Parenting can bring unexpected awareness of the ways we communicate. A parent may hear themselves respond to their child and suddenly recognize a familiar phrase, tone, or reaction from their own childhood. This experience can be unsettling, particularly when the response is one they had hoped to approach differently with their own children. It can […]
When “I’m Fine” Isn’t Quite the Whole Story How many times has someone asked, “How are you?” and before you’ve even had time to think, you’ve smiled and said, “I’m fine.” Sometimes we really are fine. But sometimes “fine” is simply the easiest answer. We may be carrying worry, relationship stress, loneliness, anger, exhaustion, or […]
“Le prime due terapeute non mi convincevano.” Nel mio studio a Londra, dove lavoro da oltre vent’anni come psicoterapeuta italiana con donne che vivono all’estero, sento questa frase con una regolarità sorprendente. Quasi sempre, chi la dice non ha smesso di credere nella terapia. Ha smesso di credere in un certo tipo di terapeuta. Il […]
In più di vent’anni di lavoro come psicoterapeuta, una sola cliente mi ha mai chiesto di vedere le mie qualifiche. Mi ha chiesto anche di vedere la mia carta d’identità, quasi scusandosi appena l’ha fatto. Quella domanda ha aperto una porta che raramente si apre così presto: nella stessa prima seduta mi ha raccontato di […]
Many of us know the feeling. A look, tone or single word can suddenly send a conversation down a familiar path. We may have had the same argument so many times that we can almost predict what happens next. One person pushes for connection or change. The other becomes defensive, overwhelmed or shuts down. The […]
Everyone experiences strong emotions from time to time. Anger, sadness, fear, excitement, and disappointment are normal parts of life. For someone living with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), however, emotions may sometimes feel unusually intense, arise quickly, and take longer to settle. This emotional intensity is more than simply being “too sensitive” or overreacting. BPD can […]
Sometimes an argument reaches a point where talking stops feeling productive. The heart rate rises. Breathing changes. The body becomes tense or restless, or perhaps everything begins to feel distant and numb. The urge to explain, defend, pursue or withdraw becomes stronger. At that point, it can be surprisingly difficult to access the qualities we […]
How can we tell our partner what we need without criticism, resentment or another argument? When couples become stuck in recurring conflict, dissatisfaction can build quietly before eventually coming out as criticism, complaints or demands. One partner may pursue harder for connection or change, while the other withdraws, becomes defensive or shuts down. The problem […]
Perfectionism is often seen as a strength. You may be someone who works hard, pays close attention to details, sets high standards, and wants to do things well. But when the need to be perfect becomes tied to your sense of worth, it can become exhausting. You may accomplish something you worked hard for, only […]
Viruses don’t only affect the immune system, they also interact with the brain and nervous system. Research points to several overlapping mechanisms: • Neuroinflammation: The immune response to infection releases inflammatory signals that can temporarily alter brain circuits involved in mood, motivation, and emotional regulation (Dantzer et al., 2008; Miller et al., 2009). • Stress-system […]
